Work More La!

At this very merry-go-round, this very heart wrenching episode took place.

Queenie: Mom, can you put in two dollars, so we can play this?

Me: Ok, let me check if I have the coins. *digging around in my wallet* Oops, sorry, not enough coins.

Queenie, exasperated: Go and work more la! Then you will have more money.

At that point, I wondered why I often wondered whether to work part time or not work, so I could look after them. It clearly meant more to Joquim that I have enough money. Ok, she said it in the spur of the moment. I should not take it so seriously.

But seriously, I'm going back to work tomorrow after the long weekend. Happy, Queenie?

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Haven't had the inspiration and energy to write for a long time. So, what really happened?

Life. I guess. Life takes over our lives sometimes. As in, the daily routines and obligations takes up so much energy, you feel like you have nothing left. But then, those routines and obligations make up your life.

Chinese New Year is the epitome of fulfilling obligations. You have to do things that you don't see the meaning in, just out of respect to your elders. You go from one location to another. At each location, you fulfill a series of steps, from exchanging the mandatory oranges to giving the widely anticipated red packets. Seriously, don't ever ask me why we need to do these things. I just want to have a peaceful festive season. If all it takes is for me to mindlessly obey, I would. Call me spineless if you wish. I'm simply spineless that way.

Oh well, here is an obligatory greeting that I made my daughters do. I do unto them what my elders did/do to me. It's all about respect! I have got such backbone that way.

Sweet Friendly Friends

I realised that the times my husband and I enjoy most with the girls are when we are enjoying some food together. I'm not referring to the kind of food we have to eat, like breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm referring to the kind of food you won't exactly starve and die without.

Think ice cream, waffles, pancakes, cheesecakes, and their own sweet friendly friends. With the girls and I being prone to cough lately, our number 1 choice (ice cream) has been sadly out of bounds. But thank God for lovely cakes and their other sweet friendly friends.

It's really important as a family to find common interests, so we can become sweet friendly friends with each other. I'm just not as interested in playgrounds and playing make belief, as Treasure and Queenie are. But desserts are easy to love. Desserts make us happy and help us relax.

Hopefully, as the girls grow older, they will find more common interests with me. I will just wait for that to happen. In the meantime, cheers to pancakes, and long live cheese cakes!

Snowing Leaves

The twinkle in the eye.

The glee on the face.

The squeal of joy.

Those are the symptoms of unbridled joy. But what is the root cause of this condition?

For Treasure and Queenie, it is found in the simple things like leaves, tote bags and plastic spoons.

Leaves. Dried Leaves. Fallen Dried Leaves. Fallen Unwanted Dried Leaves. Not the succulent, springy kinds you find living on strong branches. That's the root cause of their unbridled joy in these pictures.

God surely knew what He was doing when He made children. He gave them the gift of finding joy in simple things. Now, what happens to children when they grow into adults is a different study altogether.

Leaves along a walkway. If there is no snow in Singapore, just grab a bunch of leaves and throw them in the air. Forget the dirt and other squirmy things that could have been on the leaves.  Let the leaves float and fall on your hair and face. How enjoyable. Why didn't I think of that before.

How about tote bags and plastic spoons? Well, these are ideal toys to bring into a swimming pool. You could store lots of water in a tote bag then dump it on an unsuspecting friend. Or just be gentle and throw spoonfuls of water at them.

Spoons. I have got to talk about these. Once, Treasure and Queenie brought two plastic spoons into a swimming pool. Immediately, a self- righteous, rule abiding and unfortunately, vocal child screams, "You can't bring spoons into the pool!"

There has to be one of those kinds everywhere. Those who think it's more important to be appropriate than to enjoy life. Never let those kill your joy. This time, Treasure and Queenie did not. They ignored and continued with the spoons.

It helped too, that another child shouted "Yes, you can!" to the child. There needs to be more of this kind in the world. Those who affirm and enable. I hope Treasure and Queenie find these as good friends and life partners in future.

The Fun in None

You know how life can become mundane with kids. With kids, you kinda need some routine, because everything else is unpredictable. You can’t predict their moods, their state of health, etc.

But Treasure surprised me with her ability to see through the mundane.

We were at a Uniqlo store. And seriously, I saw the most awfully dressed mannequins ever. Who wears maroon socks, with nude coloured court shoes? Then again, who wears socks with court shoes, no matter what their colours are?! I was pretty displeased with this visual merchandise display. And I paused to take a few seconds to examine the horrid put-together. Very, very, very unsettling. At the back of my head, I wondered if the visual merchandiser had ever been trained.

As I was looking at the mannequins (as ridiculous as it sounds), I was holding Treasure’s hand. She let go of my hand, stepped next to the mannequins and declared, “Take photo!” She must have thought that I, for some odd reason, would want to remember this moment.

Of course, being the kindly mother that I was, I obliged. To the stares of a couple of even weirder passer-bys (who obviously never had children asking them to do funny things), I took out my hand phone and snapped a couple of shots.

And here are the pictures. You know what, Treasure was right. I do want to remember this moment. It reminds me of the fun we can have with our kids, in the midst of everything that seems mundane.  (In case, you are wondering, that is Queenie checking out the mannequin’s clothes.)

Time to Be

Children make you think about what really matters in your life and where you want to head.

Without a child, it is easier to just go with the flow and take whatever comes.

But with a child, suddenly time is a precious commodity. And you realise life will come to an end. And you start thinking about what you should be spending your life on. Children also make you think about who you want to be. What kind of person do you want your child to emulate?

Yet, at the same time, a child becomes a factor you must consider when you decide where to head. You can no longer make decisions without considering a family and how your decision would impact your family. So while a child spurs you to think, a child seems to limit your choices too, that is, on the surface.

When I think deeper, I realise that in fact, my children have helped me expand my choices. Suddenly I have new choices, including working from home, starting a business, working part time, writing a book, being a housewife. Options I would have never thought of.

The irony of it all. Children limit and expand your choices at the same time. Even if you choose to cover your eyes and ignore the importance of making a decision, you still have to reach a point when you decide what you want to be. I chose this picture of Treasure covering her eyes, because it reminded me that we just can’t hide from everything.  

The irony is also that what you choose to be will likely be what your child will be like too. And that is why God asks us to model Him. Because, whatever we choose to do, we need to choose to be like him.

Sometimes, I think about what I want my daughters to be like – brave, determined, having a strong sense of purpose, kind and driven. And then I realise these are the very qualities I often think I lack. And then I realise I have to stop thinking about what I want my child to be, because that is what I want MYSELF to be and the last time I checked, I was still breathing. That means I still have time to be that very person.When I think about all this, I suddenly know that I have as much growing up as my kids have to do. 

The Fine Balancing Act

Snapped a picture which I thought illustrated the fine balancing act between family, work and all other matters in life.

In the background of the picture, Queenie and Treasure are joyously playing around some water fountains. In the foreground, a lady is delicately performing a balancing act.

I felt the lady was like me, except she is a whole lot skinnier. I try to do my best at work. I try to do my best for the kids. And it can get really tiring. Worst part - you never know if you have done enough. 

Lest I come across as an extremely hardworking and conscientious woman, the reality is further from this. But I do try my best. I try to think of the fastest and most effective way to get the most done without putting in too much effort. I sure put in a lot of effort here to justify my slackness.