Time to Be

Children make you think about what really matters in your life and where you want to head.

Without a child, it is easier to just go with the flow and take whatever comes.

But with a child, suddenly time is a precious commodity. And you realise life will come to an end. And you start thinking about what you should be spending your life on. Children also make you think about who you want to be. What kind of person do you want your child to emulate?

Yet, at the same time, a child becomes a factor you must consider when you decide where to head. You can no longer make decisions without considering a family and how your decision would impact your family. So while a child spurs you to think, a child seems to limit your choices too, that is, on the surface.

When I think deeper, I realise that in fact, my children have helped me expand my choices. Suddenly I have new choices, including working from home, starting a business, working part time, writing a book, being a housewife. Options I would have never thought of.

The irony of it all. Children limit and expand your choices at the same time. Even if you choose to cover your eyes and ignore the importance of making a decision, you still have to reach a point when you decide what you want to be. I chose this picture of Treasure covering her eyes, because it reminded me that we just can’t hide from everything.  

The irony is also that what you choose to be will likely be what your child will be like too. And that is why God asks us to model Him. Because, whatever we choose to do, we need to choose to be like him.

Sometimes, I think about what I want my daughters to be like – brave, determined, having a strong sense of purpose, kind and driven. And then I realise these are the very qualities I often think I lack. And then I realise I have to stop thinking about what I want my child to be, because that is what I want MYSELF to be and the last time I checked, I was still breathing. That means I still have time to be that very person.When I think about all this, I suddenly know that I have as much growing up as my kids have to do. 

The Fine Balancing Act

Snapped a picture which I thought illustrated the fine balancing act between family, work and all other matters in life.

In the background of the picture, Queenie and Treasure are joyously playing around some water fountains. In the foreground, a lady is delicately performing a balancing act.

I felt the lady was like me, except she is a whole lot skinnier. I try to do my best at work. I try to do my best for the kids. And it can get really tiring. Worst part - you never know if you have done enough. 

Lest I come across as an extremely hardworking and conscientious woman, the reality is further from this. But I do try my best. I try to think of the fastest and most effective way to get the most done without putting in too much effort. I sure put in a lot of effort here to justify my slackness.

Butterfly Fly Fly

What a tiring day. Our first stop in Penang today was the Butterfly Farm. I figured the girls would love the butterflies. It turns out that I was the most impressed.

The feeling of having the pretty butterflies fluttering around me was adequately exciting and inspiring. You must know a ferris wheel ride can be too scary for me, especially big ones.

I'm tired, so I'm hoping the pictures will tell the story.

The Best Day of My Life

Treasure: I love you, you funny girl...
Queenie: I love you, you funny joke... haha

Hours later...
Queenie to Treasure: I am having the best day of my life.. When you said you love me.

Moments like these must go on record.

Penang one

Our first day in penang.. We stay at Holiday Inn in an amazingly large room. A room I would be happy to call a hotel room, unlike rooms in Hong Kong, Taipei and Tai Dong, which I would be happier to call hotel store rooms.

Anyway, I was looking through my gallery and all I found were these pictures.

1. This speaks of my luke warm feelings towards taking photos everywhere.
2. The most interesting part of my trip must be when Treasure coloured Anna Green and confidently declared she liked colouring aliens. Highly gratifying to know Anna is an alien.

What did we do today. . Mainly we spent lots of time looking at the kids at the pool, looking at them doing art, and eating.  Er. I should be happy.

Days of our Birth

Recently, Queenie turned 5. She has been looking forward to her birthday for the longest time, like since January?

I have always been amazed with how she can stay obsessed with looking forward to her birthday. I wouldn't dare look forward to a day too much, because I think that would lead to greater disappointment. It takes much courage to be as excited as her. To be honest, I was afraid she would be disappointed too.

Afterall, we are not the kind to throw elaborate parties or buy big gifts. I guess we are sort of lazy in that way.

But hey, the girl was not disappointed one bit. Her first mini birthday celebration was with her classmates. They were awesome. The kids were literally jumping when they sang the birthday song... the total opposite of how we adults sing that tired old song. She was regal in school, clothed in a long Elsa-inspired dress and she tried to fit the feel of the dress. She carried a gracious smile and was mostly subdued. But it was clear from her eyes that she loved it when the kids jumped in joy when they sang the song for her.

A few days later, we let Queenie choose a cake to celebrate with Moses' family.  She did not get her first choice of a cake with balloons pictures, because it was too big. But she was happy with her second choice, a square chocolate cake covered with curled chocolate shavings.

For her birthday present, she chose a fascinating kaleidoscope from the Science Centre.

Two days later, it was time to celebrate her day with my family. My parents were surprisingly enthusiastic, setting up a Disney Princess themed decor in their home. This time, we got Queenie her first choice cake, a fairy cake from Polar.

We had lots of fun. And I know Queenie wasn't disappointed. There was no elaborate party, no big gift, and at times, we couldn't get her the cake age really wanted. But she was happy. I don't know what's the secret to being so easily happy. But maybe one day I will.

Partners in Parenting

When I'm feeling frustrated and tired, there's one person who is likely feeling the same. When I'm happy, so is that person.

I shall talk about the young man I call my husband. Well, he looks pretty young I think.

I'm happy he's born with more muscles than me. Look at that picture of him lugging the kids up a slope. He does many more things that I'm not good at, like taking care of the laundry, boiling drinking water, vacuuming, and other stuff that require more muscles. Don't say this is an excuse, it's a REASON.

I'm happy that he's as happy as I am when the kids are happy. The picture of him pushing Queenie on the swing is a picture of him making her happy. And the girls know he loves them.

We share our frustration too. One of my most frustrating tasks, is getting Treasure to eat.  Just look at his irritated face.  I'm kind of sad for him at this point, but secretly happy I'm not the one feeding her at this point.

To sum up, parenting is a job that requires partners in love.  And I have found mine.